Overcoming the shame of masturbation requires time and psychological adjustment. The following are practical strategies based on psychological research and sex education practice:
1. Scientific cognition
• Masturbation is a normal physiological need of human beings. About 90% of people in the world will experience it in their lifetime (WHO data).
• Physiological harmlessness: moderate masturbation will not lead to decreased sexual function, fertility problems or health damage (such as prostatitis, hair loss, etc. are all rumors).
2. Challenge social discipline
• Many cultures stigmatize sexual behavior, but the right to sexual health is a basic human right.
• Example: In countries with open sex education such as Sweden and the Netherlands, adolescents have significantly lower shame about masturbation than in conservative regions (Panteha et al., 2020).
1. Acceptance and self-dialogue
• Write a diary: record your feelings about masturbation (such as "I feel ashamed again today, but I know this is normal"), and gradually externalize your emotions.
• Mindfulness practice: Focus on the present feelings through meditation, rather than judging sexual impulses (such as "I feel my heartbeat quickening, which is a natural reaction of the body").
2. Progressive exposure therapy
• Example of steps:
1️⃣ Watch a popular science video first (such as the BBC documentary "Sexual Anatomy").
2️⃣ Describe masturbation behavior in words (write anonymously on paper).
3️⃣ Simulate masturbation in a private space (no need to actually do it).
4️⃣ Finally try it step by step, while relieving anxiety through deep breathing.
3. Reconstruct the meaning of "shame"
• Distinguish between intrinsic value and behavior: Masturbation is not equal to "dirty", it is just one of the ways humans explore the body.
• Shift the focus: focus on the pleasure or relaxation brought by masturbation, rather than the evaluation of others (such as "I enjoy the process, not worrying about others knowing").
1. Communicate with people you trust
• Choose the right person to talk to: such as doctors, psychologists or sex educators.
• Case reference: Canadian sex educator Dr. Amy Joanne Baker publicly talks about masturbation and encourages teenagers to face their needs.
2. Join a support community
• Online forums: such as Reddit's r/NoFap (a community for quitting excessive masturbation) or domestic formal sex education platforms (such as "Knowledge Community").
• Offline activities: Participate in LGBTQ+ rights organizations or gatherings of sexual minorities to reduce isolation.
1. Privacy protection
• Ensure the safety of the masturbation site (such as locking the door and turning off the camera) to reduce the fear of being discovered.
2. Alternative satisfaction
• Divert sexual impulses through exercise, painting, music, etc. to reduce the urgency of physiological needs.
3. Educational empowerment
• Read authoritative books (such as "The Kinsey Report" and "The Heidi Report") to fight against the shame brought by ignorance with scientific knowledge.
