♦ Communicate more effectively ♦ Spontaneity ♦ Try new things
In long-term relationships, the initial excitement fades over time. It's great that you and your partner are living a more intimate and comfortable life, but good sex is also important for intimacy and closeness in a relationship. If career, family responsibilities or stress have made your sex life less exciting, don't worry, you can make it better with effort. You can rekindle your sex life by communicating more, being more spontaneous and trying new things.
Communication is extremely important for a healthy sex life. If you want to rekindle the excitement in your life, the easiest first step is to communicate more with your partner. At the beginning, it may be helpful to talk openly about your sex life and try to find out why the excitement has faded. Once you understand it, you can find a solution. Consider the following factors:
• Focus on other responsibilities or life events;
• Emotional rifts in the relationship;
• Health crises;
• Natural decline due to age.
It’s easy to fall into bad habits, like watching TV at dinner or checking your phone before bed. Change your habits and use this time to chat about your relationship or sex life. Focus on connecting with each other and living in the present. When chatting, you must talk about each other’s sexual preferences, which is key to improving your sex life experience. Here are some ideas to try:
• Turn dinner into an opportunity to talk about the future, turn off the TV and light candles.
• Choose one night a week as a date night with your partner.
• Write love letters to each other and read them together before bed.
Intimacy is not just about having sex. You can also deepen intimacy with each other by talking, sharing experiences, and building trust. These practices can convey your love to your partner and help rekindle the passion between you, keeping your relationship and sex life alive. It’s a good idea to take some time to focus on each other, after all, this may not be something you have been able to do for a while. Here’s how to do it:
• Look directly at each other and make eye contact, whether you’re talking or silent.
• Have a good laugh together and have a pure good time.
• Ask each other some deep questions about hopes, dreams, and memories. For example, “What’s your most memorable memory?” or “What do you dream about in your future life?”
As your relationship evolves, what you find attractive may change. You and your partner may still have feelings of arousal and disgust from the early days of your relationship that you haven’t discussed for a long time. Now is the time to take some time to have a romantic conversation about what brings on passion and what takes it away. Talking about this beforehand can set the stage for being more open, open, and even direct during sex. Here are some ways to start the conversation:
• Recall a great sexual moment you’ve had together and let your partner know why.
• Talk about your fantasies or something you’ve always wanted to try.
• Talk about what turns you on and what turns you off. For example, start the conversation with, "We haven't talked about this in a while, and I'm curious. What turns you on? What turns you off?"
• If you're nervous, take turns listing your likes and dislikes with your partner.
• If you don't know what turns you on right now, look for what turned you on in the early days of your relationship and see if it still works.
• If you or your partner are still unsure, schedule a night to focus on one person and figure out what turns you on.
To rekindle the spark in your sex life, you need to add some excitement to your relationship. Because of the pressures and responsibilities of a relationship, you and your partner may not have much physical contact throughout the day. Don't have to close the door or feel sexual desire to touch each other. More contact can increase intimacy and let your partner know that you are eager for them.
• Cuddle more than usual.
• Hold hands.
• Give your partner a neck massage.
• Playfully nuzzle or whisper in your partner’s ear.
Spontaneity often adds a new element to the excitement. For example, try sexting, which is sending your partner sexy photos or suggestive comments on your phone. This can get your partner excited about what’s next and allow each other to discover new things about each other. Sexting brings freshness and excitement, and can also open up sexual communication between you and your partner.
We usually wait for special occasions or family vacations to travel with our partners. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it may not give you the feeling of “escaping” from your daily life together. Why not plan a short trip for just the two of you for a few days. This will allow you both to completely relax and spend more time together.
• Go to a romantic cabin nearby and spend a comfortable weekend.
• Take a short and relaxing road trip without booking a hotel.
• Plan a quick trip to the nearest beach or island.
To add excitement to your sex life, try non-traditional locations such as the kitchen, car or elevator, or choose non-typical times such as the afternoon. Spontaneity and the possible risk of being "discovered" will increase excitement.
• Change your style to add interest, choose confident and charming clothes, and add new underwear to pamper.
• Dress up seductively or surprise naked when your partner comes home or takes a bath.
• Those who wear loose clothes can try tight ones to show their body curves
In the early stages of your relationship, you may have made elaborate arrangements for romance. Now, regain the excitement of dating and create a romantic atmosphere for each other, which can show that you are committed to increasing intimacy and rebuilding connections. Try the following methods to add some romance to your time together:
• Dim the lights or light candles to create a soft, warm and low-key light.
• Play slow, romantic or sexy music to set the mood.
• Use scented candles, perfume or room fragrance to add to the experience.
Changing your routine and doing things together can get you out of your comfort zone, add excitement and enhance intimacy. Try something new or do ordinary tasks together that you usually do alone, such as:
• Take a shower together, apply soap or shampoo to each other, and have sex in the shower if you are bold.
• Exercise together, which is good for your health and promotes blood flow and flexibility for both of you.
• Boost your competitiveness through activities such as tennis, rock climbing and arcade games.
If you or your partner travel a lot and are often apart, it may not be easy to try other suggestions. At this time, you might as well try a way to connect, such as phone sex. Although phone sex is challenging, it can enhance communication and connection between you and your partner, and it also gives you a chance to talk about fantasies or things you dare not try in person. Try these tips:
• Start by chatting with your partner on the phone about their daily routine when they are at work or out, and then slowly unfold it throughout the day.
• Occasionally hint at what you are wearing or talk about a new thought you have about your partner.
• Have a deep conversation with your partner about each other's fantasies.
• Read erotic literature aloud together.
To keep sex fresh and try new things, incorporate food into it. Although it sounds troublesome, food can excite you and your partner. Think of foods that are aphrodisiacs or can trigger physiological reactions to sexual desire, such as dark chocolate. Then incorporate food into your time together in new and interesting ways:
• Bring your partner's favorite dessert and feed it to him or her.
• Try strawberries and cream with champagne to create a luxurious atmosphere.
• Get creative with edible body paint.
Try role-playing to make sex a new experience every time. Role playing is playing a role, such as pretending to be someone else or being somewhere you haven't been. It can add excitement to a relationship, allow you to try things you've never done before, and get a little crazy if you want. Here are some role playing ideas:
• Play masseuse and client. Pretend you are strangers and the client has booked a massage, and interact in that situation.
• Try being a magician's assistant. This can be done with props like a blindfold, handcuffs, or a scarf.
• Explore power play. Start with a little interaction in bed, then "put each other on top" or, if you feel comfortable, let one person take full control of the other.
• Set a time when both parties are comfortable with each other and one can "have fun" or do what the other wants.
