When you think of the concept of "attraction," it&39;s likely that romance and sex pop up into your head. But did you know that there are other kinds of attraction that don&39;t have a sexual or romantic component? One such type of attraction is known as aesthetic attraction. Here, we&39;ll dive into what aesthetic attraction is and how to discern it from other kinds of attraction out there.
What is aesthetic attraction?
"Aesthetic attraction is being drawn to, or appreciating, the physical beauty of another person without necessarily desiring any physical, romantic, or sexual connection with that person," explains licensed clinical psychologistCorrie Goldberg, Ph.D.
If you&39;ve ever seen someone and thought "Wow, they are so attractive!" while also not wanting to touch, date, or have sex with them, then you have likely experienced aesthetic attraction.
In addition to the obvious—liking someone&39;s body or face—being aesthetically attracted to someone&39;s appearance can include an attraction to their fashion style, tattoos, piercings, hairstyle, and overall demeanor, says licensed therapistNeathery Falchuk, LCSWS, CGP.
The types of attraction.
Aesthetic attraction is one of manytypes of attraction. Others include:
• Romantic attraction:
An intense emotional draw toward someone, characterized by a strong desire to intertwine your lives intimately.
• Intellectual attraction:
Being pulled in by someone&39;s cognitive abilities, thoughts, and opinions.
• Sexual attraction:
A physical draw toward someone that leads to bodily sexual responses and a wish to have sex with them.
• Physical attraction:
A nonsexual physical urge to be close to someone and to touch and/or be touched by them, which could include cuddling, kissing, just being physically near them, or sex.
• Sensual attraction:
A type of physical attraction involving any of the five senses, usually the sense of touch. However, sensual attraction can also be experienced in nontactile ways, such as an attraction to voices.
• Tertiary attraction:
An umbrella term originating in thearomanticandasexualcommunities that describes forms of attraction besides just romantic or sexual attraction.
Aesthetic attraction vs. sexual attraction.
The key difference between the two is that sexual attraction includes a desire to have sex with someone, whereas this isn&39;t necessarily present with aesthetic attraction. Aesthetic attraction is about being attracted to the way someone looks but doesn&39;t necessarily need to include sexual interest, and likewise, sexual attraction can also come with or without aesthetic attraction.
"There is a misconception that you have to experience aesthetic attraction in order to feel sexual attraction. There are many people who develop sexual attraction after an emotional connection and may not be at all aesthetically attracted to the person," clarifies Falchuk.
Aesthetic attraction vs. physical attraction.
Physical attraction is the desire to be close to a person either in proximity (physical closeness) or through touch, including nonsexual touch. Someone can experience aesthetic attraction and have no desire of getting physically close to the person, explains Falchuk. A person who is physically attracted to someone might similarly not be aesthetically attracted to them yet still desire that physical closeness.
Signs of aesthetic attraction.
Some common signs that you might be aesthetically attracted to someone can include:
1.Getting excited
You might feel a sense of excitement or positive energy when you see them, saysMiriam Geiger, LMFT, LPCC. You get a rush or a thrill just from being in their presence, even if you don&39;t necessarily interact or touch each other (or want to do so). Just the sight of them is enough.
2.You love their...
You find yourself being drawn to specific physical features, such as their eyes,hair, hands, or smile, continues Geiger. You might focus on the way their eyes crinkle when they smile or how their hair looks when the light catches it. Maybe you gush to your friends about how pretty or handsome they are.
3.Can&39;t get enough
You find yourself coming back to look at photos of them over and over again. You always watch their Instagram stories or TikTok videos, for instance. When you daydream, you picture their face, and maybe you zone out specifically just to think about how cute they look.
4.You want to be around them all the time
If you have an excuse to be in their presence, you&39;ll take it, just so you can look at them more. You might feel a bit like nothing else is as interesting and beautiful to look at, and you get a deep sense of satisfaction from being around them.
5.Inspiration strikes
Looking at them pushes you to want to express yourself in new ways. Maybe they have beautiful red hair, and you decide it&39;s time to take the plunge and dye your hair, for example. Or maybe you get inspired to paint a portrait of them or write a song.
6.You don&39;t feel physically moved
As opposed to sexual attraction, where you have a bodily response to someone, aesthetic attraction is much more cerebral. You might notice that you&39;re super into how someone looks, but that the feeling doesn&39;t extend to wanting to sexually interact with the person.
Aesthetic attraction and asexuality.
The concept of aesthetic attraction originated within the asexual community as a way to explain attraction without a sexual component. It&39;s therefore an important and helpful concept for people on theace (asexual) spectrumwho don&39;t or rarely experience sexual attraction to help them express their desires.
Some asexual people further clarify their identities by using terms such aspanaestheticandbiaestheticto help describe how they experience aesthetic attraction (i.e., a biaesthetic person is aesthetically attracted to people of more than one gender, as abisexualperson is sexually attracted to people of more than one gender).
