Recently, I received many private messages from sisters: "Will playing with toys make sex life with your partner less enjoyable?" After buying these, will your partner mind in the future?
In fact, real people and toys are two different things.
As the saying goes, the most useful sexual organ of human beings is the brain. Real people can flirt, communicate with each other, kiss, and have various other physical contacts, which are all communications that toys cannot do.
Many men and women have such an illusion that if their partners use sex toys, it means that they are sexually incapable and cannot satisfy their partners, so they are somewhat resistant to toys.
In the process of communicating with some friends, I also found that the process of everyone's contact with small toys is actually a process of continuous "evolution", including acceptance of toys, their own ideas, and even some changes in life.
Some people did not understand it very well at first, but slowly unlocked the joy; some people were entangled and confused, and later found the answer; some have been very firm, open to sex, and live freely and calmly.
Regardless of whether it is suitable in the end, whether toys are needed or not, in the process of searching, expressing, and persisting, they have understood their true thoughts and learned to face their own needs.
01.Anonymous user I am still exploring at the age of 20...
Some time ago, I received a gift from a very good sister, a very cute little toy for girls. When I saw it, I had an idea in my mind that this little thing seemed a little too...!
But I didn't expect that after putting it aside for a while, I took it out again, and in the unintentional exploration, I experienced the wonderful fun brought by the little toy. How to say it, although it is not as strong as the legend, the body is like being suddenly awakened, hot and gentle.
At first, I was also worried about addiction. I wondered if my desire was too strong and I would always want it in the future. And whether I would become insensitive after using the toy, and men would not be able to satisfy me.
But I found that this was not the case. My sexual desire has not changed much. It's just that I could only clamp my legs or toss and turn when I wanted it before. Now I will use toys to satisfy myself and relax myself.
At the same time, I have a boyfriend. I found that the physical and mental satisfaction brought by skin contact with the person I like, the fusion of emotions, and the happiness of physical and mental satisfaction are also the happiness that small toys cannot bring me.
Later, I also had more knowledge and opportunities, and took the initiative to learn about this aspect, such as the entire physiological process of sexual arousal, the pleasure switch in the female body, how to take care of myself, etc.
Gradually, I also bought some new toys myself, and was surprised by each different style, which brought me many different feelings. Now, even if some may not be used, I will still carefully collect and record them as precious specimens.
For me now, the important thing is not how many toys I have, but to know myself from more places and enjoy this journey of free exploration and discovery of happiness.
02. Anonymous user, 27 years old. Is my desire really strong?
My partner and I haven't been together for a long time. We have sex three or four times a week, but sometimes I want some fast-food sex, which is to arouse quickly, end quickly, and satisfy myself.
Because work is still very tiring, many times we don't have the time and energy to do it, but using toys can easily and quickly relax and satisfy ourselves.
When I DIY alone, the six or seven seconds of loss of control will make me involuntarily clamp my legs, breathe lightly, and enjoy this kind of completely satisfied happiness.
My partner accepts my use of toys, but I have never used them in front of him, because if he is present, I still feel a little restrained and cannot explore freely, moan, relax my body, and give up facial expression management.
I am worried that these will make the other party feel that my desire is too strong, and I will still feel a little ashamed in my heart, and I am also worried that I will look too ugly when I climax.
In addition, if I play in front of him, he will not feel anything physically, so it is difficult for me to accept that this kind of climax and sexual desire is only me, and my partner is not involved, he is just watching.
When we were doing it, we both had this emotion, and everyone was the same. When I was playing with toys alone, I felt that I might have shown my "animal" side, while he was still a well-dressed "human", and this feeling made me very uncomfortable.
He also understood my psychological burden and always waited until I was done before coming in. Maybe one day I can handle these contradictions, find a way that suits me, and slowly explore.
03. Anonymous user, 29 years old, he will use it with me
I have a boyfriend, but I also use small toys at the same time. He knows this. Fortunately, we both agree on this point. We think that partners and sex toys are never mutually exclusive.
At first, I was still a little worried. When he went to the living room, I pretended to go back to my room to rest, but I was actually comforting myself silently.
Later, I simply did it next to him. As a result, he saw me using small toys next to him, and he was a little excited. He couldn't help kissing me and touching me, and then took the initiative to join in.
I found that I would become sensitive after using toys, so he also joined in, giving me a completely different new experience.
Later, we often did this. I used toys for foreplay first, and he joined in after one or two times. It was like heaven and water in a second. The pleasure was so strong that I pulled the sheets frantically. The two of us often reached the peak at the same time and got great satisfaction.
Of course, we had some communication and understanding on this matter. I am happy to try toys, and my boyfriend respects my ideas. Sometimes, he is too tired from work, so I play alone. Sometimes I will help him. This is very convenient and much easier. The happiness I want can come at any time.
Therefore, if two people are in step with each other, no matter who uses the small toy, it will not affect the intimacy. Instead, trying new possibilities will be fresher and life will be more ritualistic.
04. Anonymous user 32 years old after marriage, regaining long-lost happiness
Less than two years after marriage, I bought myself a small toy. How can I say it? Compared with real people, I think toys are better, mainly because I like the feeling of control. In most cases, no one knows what you want better than you.
My husband is a more traditional man. Although he will take care of my feelings in that aspect, he just can't find the right feeling and can't give me more surprises. Over time, passion and romance are getting less and less. I think it's a bit unlikely to make him enthusiastic.
Once, I saw the sisters talking about toys, and I was itchy, so I bought an entry-level one. After a simple groping, I found the little bean, kneaded and sucked it, and the long-lost happiness finally came back.
He hasn't discovered it yet. Maybe one day, my husband will accept my use of small toys. Maybe then, I won't need toys anymore. I just think it's worth it to enjoy everything beautiful now.
Of course, there are many women who have created many more wonderful and interesting stories in the process of using small toys. These may not be important in the eyes of others, but you can really feel that it is a wonderful thing to enjoy being yourself and enrich your life.
