Sex is wonderful and complex, and orgasm is a topic that cannot be avoided in sex. Some people have never seen it happen, while others fake it. What is the reason behind this?
According to a targeted psychology survey in the United States, about 67% of women will fake orgasm at least once during the process of falling in love. In another survey, most men do not believe that faking orgasm will happen to them, and only 20% said they think their partners may be faking; and they will be extremely painful when they find that their partners are faking.
90% of men said they care whether their partners have orgasms. McKibbin, a scholar who studies human sexual orgasms, said that this may be one of the key inducements for faking orgasms.
✍Take care of boys' self-esteem
A netizen: "I have to say that because I know that sometimes orgasms will not come, I pretend. He is really hard and focused in bed. Pretending to orgasm is to disguise himself and protect his feelings."
Watching your partner orgasm is a great affirmation for men.
In Paradise Lost, Junichi Watanabe said: Compared with females, males are inherently weak in sexual pleasure. Therefore, males are more satisfied with seeing the whole process of the other party gradually moving towards pleasure and orgasm than immersing themselves in pleasure.
Since men want to watch, they think that watching girls orgasm is more exciting and can better prove their sexual ability. In the absence of real orgasm, in order to make the other party happy, girls can only pretend.
✍Fake orgasm, because boys pretend foreplay.
A netizen: "I may be too nervous during sex and can't relax, and he suddenly goes straight in and pushes hard, which makes me hurt. I can only pretend to orgasm and look forward to finishing early."
No foreplay, no kissing, no hugging, no flirting, only procedural touching on the top, touching the bottom, or even directly entering, just fantasizing that the girl can get wet and ignite her own desire.
During sex, not taking care of the girl's feelings, only satisfying his own desires, makes the girl feel uncomfortable. In order to avoid quarrels, you can only pretend to be orgasmic and call it a stop.
But no matter what your reasons are, I still don't want you to pretend to be orgasmic. Because, for many men, pretending is more like a "humiliation" than the disappointment of real reactions, which men can't accept.
Once the other party is found out that you are pretending to be orgasmic, the shame and distrust it brings to men are more difficult to repair than the short-term unhappiness caused by disappointment. Even if you deceive your boyfriend with your acting skills, he will think that you have had enough fun, and you may only care about yourself, and the service of the little male god may be temporarily over.
Or when you have become accustomed to pretending, your boyfriend and yourself think that this is an orgasm, which also hinders your motivation to find an orgasm.
Think about your life's happiness ending in pretending, are you willing? The most terrible thing is that this will destroy the trust between the two people and bring the relationship between the two to a freezing point. What is most needed for a long-term and healthy relationship is honesty between two people~
Of course, explore the real orgasm
Sit down and tell the other person honestly: I didn’t have an orgasm, and sometimes I was pretending to have an orgasm.
Of course, this communication may turn into a rant if you are not careful, causing new conflicts, so pay attention to communication skills when communicating:
① First of all, don’t blame yourself, let alone blame him.
Not being able to have an orgasm doesn’t mean you or he can’t do it.
Orgasm is a rare thing, which doesn’t mean you or he has a problem. The probability of a girl having an orgasm during sex is already very low. According to a survey, 70% of women cannot have an orgasm through vaginal penetration.
At the same time, tell him what you want him to do: Orgasm is not the end of a perfect sexual experience. Think carefully, after a love affair, what is left in your mind is the moment of orgasm twitching, or the scene of two people kissing and hugging, rubbing ears and cheeks, and making eyes?
Intimate care, a sense of security in your heart, and careful consideration for yourself can sometimes make you more excited than physiological orgasm.
② Girls themselves should also take the initiative to change and explore their bodies through self-feeding.
The University of Chicago conducted a study on 3,299 women aged between 18 and 85 and found that most people can learn to orgasm. In the words of sexologist Erwin J. Haeberle, "Orgasm is learned. The teacher is masturbation. Orgasm is acquired, and self-feeding is the best teacher."
You are the one who knows your body best. You can explore your sensitive points and your favorite arousal methods through self-feeding, and then guide boys to explore. After all, you know your own body best.
③ Do XO training to lay a good physiological foundation for orgasm.
Let's review the question I have emphasized countless times: What is the physiological basis of orgasm?
Orgasm refers to the twitching of the pelvic floor muscles transmitted to the brain through neurotransmitters, and the feeling of the brain is your orgasm feeling. Therefore, the pelvic floor muscles are the physiological basis of orgasm. The twitching ability of the pelvic floor muscles is very important. If your pelvic floor muscles are too weak, then your ability to feel orgasm will be very weak. Insist on doing XO training, and exercise the strength of the pelvic floor muscles by repeatedly pulling inward and pushing outward.
In the face of white lies, boys should first thank them for their good intentions in their mentality, not hold them accountable, but patiently guide them, wait, and hone their skills and do a good job of foreplay.
At the same time, you must realize that you have to cooperate with her in exploring orgasm. If female friends don't know how to tell boys, I will teach you the simplest way. Just forward this article to him and hint that he should read to the end.
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